^{PhoneyBone X by PhoneyBone Inc.}

Universe 39FTT2: SHADOWVILLE, Sep 28, 2024 — Yesterday, at the highly anticipated "BeyondTech" event, PhoneyBone Inc. unveiled its latest creation, the PhoneyBone X, leaving fans and critics wondering whether the company had gone too far this time.

Promising a "truly immersive experience," the PhoneyBone X boasts a new feature: the "AncestralCall" app. With a simple swipe, users are claimed to be able to commune with their long-lost ancestors. Whether you've been yearning to settle an old family feud or simply ask Grandma Ethel for her secret cookie recipe, the PhoneyBone X claims it has you covered.

"We've harnessed the power of shadows, echos, and a bit of graveyard dust to create an unparalleled connection experience. Ever wondered if Great Uncle Bob approves of your life choices? Now you can ask him directly!"

- CEO of PhoneyBone Inc., Mort Umber, elaborated on the tech behind it. 

Included in the device’s standard tools are the “LastSnap” camera, which purportedly captures moments just seconds before they happen, and the “EchoChat” messaging service, sending texts before you even think them. Handy or horrifying? You decide.

Pre-orders for the PhoneyBone X opened right after the announcement and within minutes, the company's website crashed, presumably under the weight of eager customers or perhaps the restless souls of tech enthusiasts past.

However, critics argue that the phone is just a tad... morbid. Consumer watchdogs have raised concerns over the “LifeBattery,” which reportedly lasts forever but requires the user to sign a perplexing contract in their own blood.

"We're all about pushing boundaries," said Umber, in response to the mixed feedback. "And sometimes, those boundaries are the ethereal ones between this world and the next."