^{Hedgehog race on Zonicc stadium}

Universe SDRP45: Oct 18, 2023 — In an age where mainstream sports were beginning to wane in popularity, it was the subcultures, such as the underground hedgehog racing scene, that attempted to fill the void. The sport's surge into the limelight and subsequent fall is a tale worth recounting – not only for its sheer absurdity but also for the lessons it imparts about human nature.

As cricket and baseball lost audiences in the early 2020s, a niche group in Wisconsin started a trend that would take the world by storm: racing hedgehogs. It sounds ridiculous at first, and, well, it is. But the fervor with which enthusiasts approached the sport was nothing short of awe-inspiring.

What started in basements and backyards quickly escalated to underground arenas and secret championships. Racers, fans, and even sponsors showed up, often masked, to place their bets on the night's favorite hedgehog. I recall attending one of these races in an abandoned warehouse outside Sheboygan. The electric atmosphere, rivaling the Olympics, was generated merely by the sight of the tiny creatures scurrying towards the finish line. There was even a doping scandal when one hedgehog, Sonic (no relation to the video game icon), was found to have traces of caffeine in its system.

Inevitably, things took a dark turn. Betting debts mounted, leading to the rise of hedgehog loan sharks who threatened non-payers with a fate involving a particularly slow and menacing turtle. It wasn't just about the money, though. The sheer pressure of maintaining a winning hedgehog brought out the worst in some owners. Rumors spread of sabotaged obstacle courses, hedgehog kidnapping rings, and even attempts to slow down rival hedgehogs by feeding them too many mealworms.

The absurdity reached its peak when the first hedgehog multi-millionaire emerged. Horace Whitewalker, a hedgehog breeder, claimed to have unlocked the genetic code to create the ultimate racer. He named his prize hedgehog "Usain Quill" and the little creature lived up to its namesake, fetching Whitewalker lucrative sponsorship deals with brands like Nike and Red Bull. But alas, it was later discovered that "Usain Quill" was nothing more than a genetically modified guinea pig. The scandal rocked the hedgehog community and was the beginning of the end for the sport.

^{"Usain Quill" at its first racing event in Atlanta}

Looking back, one wonders how such a peculiar pastime captivated so many. The world watched as a group of adults put all their emotional, financial, and sometimes even physical well-being at stake over, essentially, the walking pace of a spiky mammal.

We may chuckle at the absurdity now, but the underground hedgehog racing saga is a stark reminder of how, when left unchecked, our competitive nature, paired with boredom, can lead us down some truly bizarre paths. The next time a peculiar trend emerges from the depths of obscurity, one must ask: are we being led by genuine passion, or merely escaping the mundanities of life through the thrill of the absurd?